Do you struggle with change? I do not handle it well. Like, at all. To give you an idea, I sometimes find myself feeling depressed at the progress my tiny town has made in its growth.
I sometimes sit and daydream about what it would be like if nothing changed at all. I am very much like Jo March in Little Women: “Can’t things just stay as they are?!”
But if things never changed, we would never progress, I guess.
My lesson horse, Biscuit, is leaving next month to be with his owners in Virginia, to live out the rest of his days with his “brother” in retirement (we call Mack his brother even though Biscuit is an OTTB and Mack a Percheron/Morgan, lol)
Letting Biscuit out of his stall tonight to be in the pastures made me realize just how much I’m going to miss him. (We’ve been watching the farm this week while the barn owners are away). While Biscuit and Mack’s owners are living in Virginia right now, Anna and I have been caring for Mack and Biscuit as if they’re our own until they leave, as well as the other horses, of course. And it’s really hard. Not in the sense of hard work. I was raised to know what hard work is, but in the sense of, the more I spend time with Biscuit, the harder it’s going to be to say goodbye. Yes, he’s what I call “a grumpy old man” (when he’s really the sweetest horse) but he’s one of the most kindest and most patient horses I’ve met, and I love him. He’s the type of horse that can read your mind and do what he knows you need to push yourself to do that day. Does that make sense?
“I’m a little nervous in my lesson today”, and Biscuit says “You need to push yourself. Trust me” and does what I’m too nervous to do without his help. And he looks after me. He takes such good care of me.
And I’m really sad he’s leaving.
But I guess progress begins when change happens.
Biscuit has earned his retirement, as has Mack. That doesn’t mean I won’t miss them. I’ll miss them every day.
It’s all in the journey.
Biscuit has taken me down many roads that a trusted lesson horse could bring you down and keep you safe through, even though there have been no threats whatsoever whenever I’m on him it around him on the trail, lol!
He has taught me so much (as well as Mack, only on the ground since we do not ride him) and their owners were the kindest of people to allow me to ride Biscuit and Anna and I take care of him and Mack while they prepare their home for their horses up North.
What I’m going to learn when Biscuit leaves is hard to tell but I know with the fundamentals he and Gamble taught me it’ll all be so worth it. I’m upset, yes, because I’ve grown to have a partnership with him and these past few days being able to see him, groom him and spend time with him has been wonderful and that has only made a stronger friendship between us that I think not only I will remember but he will too.
While I am very sad to see their side of the tack room slowly empty and the day get closer and closer that they leave for good, I know they deserve the best they can get, and their owners are some of the best horse owners I have ever met; always thinking of their horse’s needs and what’s best for them.
The journey for Mack and Biscuit continues, as does my own, and I will never forget the things both these incredible horses have taught me.
Mr. Mackie-doodle (or Big Mack as we call him most days, lol) will always have a special place in my heart, as he used to be a Caisson Horse in Arlington National Cemetery, and was there when my family and I went in the early 2000’s to bury my grandfather.
Then Grumpy Old Man, aka, Biscuit, lol! Such a kind lesson horse with a heart of gold. So patient and willing to teach me, even amidst all my mistakes. Pushing me to progress but in a way that makes me trust him.
I’m going to miss these two boys whom I’ve grown to love so much.